Sales Rep No More

     Today was my last day of work. I left my job as a sales rep who peddled lab supplies at major universities in VA. I was a (small) step above a door-to-door sales person. I met several people I really liked but I hated the job and stress of being in sales. I'm trying to make the transition to be a high school biology teacher but I do not currently have a job.
     Teachers are typically hired in the spring for the next fall. I keep hearing that math and science teachers are in demand so I guess my life has become a reality based litmus test to determine if that statement is true. God I hope it is.
     Several people have asked is I have another job lined up and at this point, I don't. I have some poorly formed ideas floating around in my head about what I'm doing in the near future and will spend the next couple days firming those up but tonight I'm just letting reality sink in. Actually, I'm worrying about everything. In this age of The Great Recession, who leaves a job?! Also, I frequently hear the old adage "it's easier to find a job when you already have one" but I hated what I was doing and the stress was killing me (I only had a few, low key melt downs in my car) but it's hard not to feel like I'm making a mistake.
     The boyfriend tries to understand, and even if he doesn't really get it, he's very supportive. My family is behind me emotionally and, more importantly, financially so I know I will be ok but it's hard to be a 20-something college graduate who can't figure out life and other things. Nobody ever told me how hard being in my mid-20's would be. I always thought I would graduate college, get a job and start being an adult after I graduated college. I guess I just imagined that I would slip smoothly into working life after graduation and work toward my version of the white picket fence and 1.9 children per household (which is neither of those things, I'm just trying to paint a picture). I'm still trying to find my niche and have to remember that this is what I chose.
     Life is not something you work toward but an accumulation of the steps that you take everyday so I'm trying to remind myself that this mixture of terror of uncertainty and excitement of leaving something I knew wasn't right is what living feels like for today.